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It’s later than you think

A friend of mine died tragically and unexpectedly earlier this week–though I suppose every death is a tragedy, anticipated or not.

He was only in his early forties, with a lovely family and a thriving business he had built from scratch after having the courage to make a major career shift more than a decade ago. In his chosen new profession he profoundly touched the lives of dozens, if not hundreds, of people. He generously and compassionately helped people at a level that’s impossible (at least for me) to explain.

What I know for certain is that he was essential to my getting through two extremely difficult periods during the past several years. In fact, he may very well have saved my life–for which I shall be eternally grateful. He clearly made his dent in the universe.

In my mix of grief and gratitude at least two important lessons have emerged.

First, and most obviously, depression is a very real and serious issue for so many people, and our tendency to look away or to minimize or to label sufferers as “weak” or “lazy” is not only wrong, it’s hurtful.

The second is that it’s later than we think.

The notion that things will unfold the way we want, at a time and date largely of our choosing, sits somewhere between illusion and fantasy. The idea that I will be better able to start the important stuff tomorrow–or, better yet, maybe next week once things settle down at work–is just one of the oft-repeated lies I tell myself.

Things are often moving faster than they seem. We have to expect the unexpected. And whether we like it or not, at some point the clock stops in some way, shape or form on everyone and everything…

…the window to launch that new business

…the time to write the book we’ve been talking about for ages

…the opportunity to forgive

…the ability to shift from fear and anger to open-heartedness and compassion

…the space to tell someone what they’ve meant to you

…the chance to say “I love you.”

In so many ways it’s later than we think. And my guess is that we all have some catching up to do.

What better time than now?

7 thoughts on “It’s later than you think

  1. Great piece, Steve, and I’m sorry about your friend. This week marks the 7th anniversary of the death of a dear friend of mine, another great guy who died in his early 40s with a young family. As I was turning 50 and he was completing his chemo treatments, he told me something we all need to remember on our birthdays (especially as the numbers become so hard to believe). “All birthdays are good.”

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  2. Hi Steve, Just wanted to send my condolences to you about your friend. I’m sorry for your loss, and for his family’s loss. It sounds like he was pretty special.

    Very best to you as you work through it all. And I know your advice to your readers will be heeded by many.

    *Dan*

    *Dan Kent* Dan Kent Business Coaching 541.778.7218 dan-kent.com

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